This is Me. :D

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

This was taken during a mob for sintax. 10.15.12. I love you babe, my soulmate, my twin soul. always and forever. Until the next life.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Thanks to PLM comrades Larry Pascua and Tado Jimenez, I finally got this signed babe! This is my gift to you. I love you so much. Today should've been our 22nd month together. I'm missing you more and more everyday. This was the last book that you bought and read. I Love You.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Still Lost Without You, Babe

 Babe, my Montague,  why did you have to leave? You promised to be with me forever. What did we do wrong? Why did it have to be you?

Friday, January 11, 2013


I haven't posted anything for the last few months. I've been very busy at work and at school. I never thought this is how I would tell the end of me and my boyfriend's beautiful love story...

My boyfriend died on Christmas Day. He had lymphoma.

It all happened so fast. We weren't ready for this.

I signed up for a site called "The Experience Project" and posted this story:

The Day My Soul Mate Died 

We never thought it was going to happen. We never thought he would be taken away so soon.

My boyfriend died a few days ago, Christmas day due to lymphoma and other complications.

Let me tell you our story.

I've known my babe since I was 17 years old. He was a friend of my then-boyfriend. I had gotten really close to the friends of my ex so I still kept in touch. I attended Christmas parties - I only see them once a year. Me and my babe never really got along then. We just don't jive. Then nearly 2 years ago, I was just joking around on facebook with some friends and he was there. We both decided to change our relationship status to "in a relationshp" for fun. Then we got to know each other thru sms and calls. I can still remember him asking me if I was serious in the relationship. I took some time to think about it and decided to give it a try. I never regretted that decision.

He was the guy every woman would've hoped for. He was sweet, caring, sympathetic and loves me for who i am. We've been together for nearly 2 years. I know it's not a lot. He was taken away so soon. During our first few months together, I was holding back. Maybe it's because I had gotten hurt before from my past experiences but he always reassured me that he is not like my exes and he has plans for us. I felt his sincerity through actions and words.

After that, I immediately devoted my love and my life for him. We thought we'd be together forever. Just 6 months ago, we decided to live together. It was just as easy as breathing. We never had serious fights, just the normal and trivial things. It was perfect. He wanted to get married after I graduate college (2 years from now) . We wanted to start a business so we can save for the wedding and a nice condo or house. We wanted to have kids. We wanted to start a family 2 years from now. 

He had a simple flu. We never really thought something was wrong. He got better after a fewdays. Then, all of a sudden he had fever. We went to a doctor to have him checked. The doctor said it was nothing serious. After a few days, my babe was complaining about some ringing in his ear. We went to an ear specialist. They told us it was an ear infection and prescribed some antibiotics. 

After a few days, my babe's eyes begin to squint. That was the time when we rushed him to the E.R. they first thought it was a stroke but we learned that it was meningitis due to his ear infection. He was administered with intravenous antibiotics for 7 days. He was cured with his meningitis but the doctors weren't sure as to why his platelet count was dropping. They found a lump on his neck and they did a biopsy.

We found out he had lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes. He was scheduled for a chemo. I wasn't at the hospital when his parents decided to take him home. I was busy preparing for the benefit concert that me and his friends were organizing. I was so shocked when I found out he left the hospital. I went there and stayed for a night. I can see a slight improvement because he didn't know that he has cancer. I left there on the 23rd feeling happy because I am so sure he can get past this. 

On Christmas day, I was so excited to see him. I arrived at 7 in the evening. I was so shocked when I saw him that day. He was so skinny. This was not the babe that I saw just 2 days ago. He simply looked at me and moaned and moaned nonstop. We rushed him to the hospital where he was intubated. I was the one who was pumping the airbag the whole time. All I can do is look at him and call him "babe" over and over and over again. He was taken to the lab to do an x-ray. We waited outside and some of his closest friends arrived. I told them what happened. My babe's family called me back and I saw with my own two eyes how he was being revived for 30 minutes. And he's gone forever.

Until now, I can't get over the fact that he's gone. I haven't been to our place because it hurts so much. I've left our room the way it was when we went to the hospital. We made a lot of plans together and I don't know how I can face life without him. I love him so much. His family said he only waited for me to arrive on Christmas and it was the sweetest thing that my babe had done.
Until his last breath he wanted to show me how much he loved me.

 Now, everything reminds me of him. Every corner of the house we lived in reminds me of him. Even my school reminds me of him. Every inch of my body yearns for him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I am forced to face life alone without my "better" half.

I talk to him everyday. I still confide to him all my worries, frustrations, happy thoughts, grief and everything under the sun like I used to do when he was still alive.

People say it will get better as time passes but the pain only gets worse. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have hoped so many times that this was all a bad dream. I keep on thinking why this happened to us? What did we do to deserve this?


Babe, remember the time when you promised that I will be the last girl that you will ever love? Well, you were right. I was the last girl that you loved. But then you promised me you will never ever leave me no matter what. You promised me we will be together forever. I miss you so much. I will never ever forget you. I will try so hard to hold on to the memories and no one can take that away from me.

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita, Ricky Baldezar de Asis.