Did You Guys Miss Me?

Well, did you? Did you?
Crazy times. God, I never thought I'd write in this blog again. I missed you guys, from the very bottom of my lonely but happy heart. Here's a treat for you guys, I was in the training room last night (Oh, I have a new job by th way as a "trusted adviser"/ customer care rep. *Clap clap!*) and had a lot of free time. I read a story about Marilyn Manson's plans to do his interpretation of Lewis Carroll (The eccentric mind behind Alice and Wonderland).

Before I start and share this disturbing yet artistic video, I would like to share to you a few personal info. First and foremost, I am a Marilyn Manson fan. I love his individuality and over-the-top theatrics. Over time, this liking for drifted far far away due to reasons that are many to think of. One is because I am getting a bit old and sick of his theatrics and second, because he tends to overdo things (meaning it eventually lacks class and taste). Forgive my grammar or basically the entire way of writing. I have been a scatterbrain lately and you all have to understand that I just got home from a graveyard shift and I am really really as in totally sleeeeeeppppyyy. Anyway, back to the topic, as you see. I became interested once more in Marilyn Manson. It is true that this movie is a bit disturbing but on the bright side, you will definitely see Manson's artistry. He is truly a hell of an artist.

Be warned: This video is not for the faint of heart or even for the conservatives.

Enough of the "blah blahs"... Here's the video guys, HOPE YA ALL LIKE IT.

Oh, I forgot to mention, this movie was cancelled in production due to explicit content. WATCH WITH YOUR OWN RISK.

--Loving You Guys Eternally, Five Times Over,
LAI

*Let's watch the preview first:
Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll PREVIEW
(embedding was disabled, zarreeeyyy. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeixzZTt92o

Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll Trailer

Para Maiba Naman...

Sa dami ng sinulat ko sa blog na ito, ngayon pa lang ako magsusulat sa Tagalog... Oo, sa ka-una unahang pagkakataon pipilitin kong magsulat ng purong Tagalog. Naks! Nagkaroon ako ng inspirasyon na magsulat gamit ang aking sariling wika dahil sa pelikulang "Miss You Like Crazy". Ito ay ginanapan ng tambalang Bea Alonzo at John Lloyd Cruz. Napakaganda ng pelikulang ito lalung lalo na ang mga katagang sinabi ng mga gumanap dito. Gustong gusto ko kung paano nila isinalarawan kung bakit ang pag-ibig ay tunay na "walang pinipiling panahon at oras" at "ang lahat ay makikiayon pag dating ng tamang panahon." Grabe, ang hirap pala magsulat ng purong tagalog. Heto ang ilan sa mga di malimutang linya o kataga mula sa pelikula.

1. "Laging mali ang timing namin... Time was never our friend..." - John Lloyd

2.  "Time is meaningless when you're in love".. - Lolo Yuli

3. "Ito ang mundo ko -- old, musty, falling apart." - John Lloyd

Marami pa sana akong ilalagay pero hindi ko na maalala yung ibang linya. Ahaha! Hintayin natin ang DVD niya para mas maisulat ko. Ahaha... Gustong gusto ko yung eksena na sinasabi ni bea na after 2 years ay babalik si John Lloyd para guluhin lang ang buhay niya at yung pagsabi niya ng "Eh Putangina Mo!".... ahaha... Wala na akong masabi... Mahirap magsulat sa Tagalog, yun lang.

Directions to Utopia, please!

Oh dear Lord, take away all this drama!!

Please bring me to Utopia

where I'll find peace! 

I've always been a happy person, but ever since I met him (I am not referring to the person I was referring to in my old posts. In short, this "him" is another person, hypothetically speaking.) (please read my disclaimer). Okay, so where were we? Eversince I met him, I've sort of stumbled into an emotional roller coaster ride. I call it BV (Bad Vibes). I call it DRAMA. I am so sick and tired off this crap. I just want every ounce of negativity to go away. Please take me to a 'happy place" where I am free to love anyone I choose to be with and free to be loved by anyone who chooses to. I am not a cynic. Dark energies aren't made for me. It just isn't.

My personal definition of Emotional Rollercoaster

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER:

A term used to describe a downward spiral-like type or of feeling. Just like a roller coaster, it's fun and exciting with the 1st few rides -- but makes you sick to your stomach when you've had enough... 

Past Tense

This is for him (I am referring to the person I was referring to in my first few stories here in my blog).  I don't usually tell all the actual details especially when I'm writing about my own "UNREQUITED LOVE// STAR-CROSSED LOVERS" story but these are so poetic. So, I'd like to share them with you guys...


DISCLAIMER: All the persons I was, am and will be referring to in this blog may or may not exist. It can be a mere figment of my imagination or it can be a real person. Hypothetically speaking, I will never disclose the real name of the persons (if and only if they are indeed real) due to reasons that are too many to think of. 

No matter what you say,

No matter what you do,

No matter what happens,

You're still MINE

and I'm still YOURS...

^^Yup, that was my first text message. It's entertaining, really. You see, it's sort of like a "jinx". No matter what he says, no matter what he does and no matter what happens, he can't change the fact that we belong together... Feeler... Ha ha!! 

I complicate your life. You complicate mine too. So let's complicate life together. It's better to experience all the ups and downs of life with someone rather than being alone. Ahahaha... (Tagalog: Pagpasensiyahan mo na ko) (Translation: Forgive my blurting out) I just love the feeling of being in love with you.You were my best dream. Sadly, I woke up.Can you put me to sleep one more time? So I can continue dreaming of you...

 ^^My favorite!!! 

Yes, I made these quotes myself. As usual, I haven't received any reply. I wasn't expecting any either.
 I enjoy the feeling of constantly getting hurt.. Am I a masochist or something?? Or am I drawn to the wonderful illusion that amidst every rain is a rainbow?? Am I really that stupid?? Or is this what you call UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

I'm in love with a Montague

Holding back feelings for someone won't make it any better... 

So, obsessing and letting your love suffice is a good option. 

Love, until there's no more left to love...

-Lara Nadezda P. Melencio

I kept thinking about these words while I was in my "Happy Place"... It's the truth, right? I once kept my feelings for someone hoping I can move on but nearly 3 years had passed, and everytime I hear his voice, see his face and kiss his lips, I still get butterflies on my stomach. He is like a drug -- bad for my system but feels so right.. I am now trying with all my might to just admire and love him from afar. I still can't understand why 2 perfect people can never be together. Sucks to be US.. I know, right?? 

I'm in love with a Montague!!

Love, Juliet Capulet

 Don't get me wrong, I love the chase -- but sometimes, I would rather wish it's over rather than running in circles wondering when will one of us will catch the other...


Star-Crossed Lovers like Romeo and Juliet

Party Madness

I was so exhausted from 2 weeks of straight partying. I don't want another sip of vodka or beer or any form of alcohol and nicotine for like a decade. As in seriously!! Forgive my raging social hormones... I wasn't able to update this site for more than 2 weeks (I know and I'm really sorry). It was just a bad couple of weeks... I'm reinventing my finances (Ha! As if there's something to reinvent) and of course I'm reinventing myself (fashion wise) although "reinventing" is not a very applicable term with what I'm doing...


I am getting back with the old "rock and roll scene"... Not the music though, I still love INDIE POP, it's just because of the crowd. I have come to a conclusion that all Metal Heads (especially guys) think highly of themselves. I am an art person and I thought music geniuses from local underground metal bands would share my passion. So, based on my own experience, Metal Heads hate poetry reading and indie films... and of course (forgive my dissing but I have to blurt out the truth), they suck... BIG TIME!!!!

Speaking of art and geniuses, here's a poster of the latest "IT" event this Friday. Yes, I'm going!
A former classmate sent invites on Facebook...


The invitation info:

UP Pi Omicron Fraternity’s 

INDIEMAND

Indiemand is an annual, open-field, walk-in, and independent film showing that showcases an array of artistic productions ranging from narrative, documentary, experimental and animated short films to full-length films produced by diverse yet creative and independent film makers from different institutions. It aims to provide film artists an opportunity to showcase their talents and to share their “slices of life” through the medium of film to a critical public audience. 

Indiemand 6 showcases an array of artistic productions that ranges from narrative, documentary, experimental and animated short films to full-length films produced by diverse yet creative aspiring and professional film makers from different disciplines, institutions and social classes. The event, in its 6th year, will be staged at the U.P. Lagoon area across the Faculty Center in the University of the Philippines, Diliman, Quezon City on December 18, 2009, in time with the annual colorful festivity in the university, the historical Lantern Parade of U.P. Diliman Students, faculty members from different colleges and schools, artists from different disciplines and film enthusiasts alike composed the audience of the past five Indiemands since it begun in 2004.

See you guys! Will post pictures and details of the parties next time! :)) 

A Black Ribbon for the Victims of Political Killings

Justice for the 57 people who died in perhaps the worst political massacre in the Philippines.

This horrific tragedy is also called "The Ampatuan Massacre" which was named after the city in Maguindanao where it happened. The killings occurred on the morning of Nov. 23, 2009.

This is one of the reasons I hate politics. It is deadly (literally) and I can't understand it. Even though I don't like to be involved in any political organization, issue or whatsoever, I am not oblivious to the happenings in my country. This has to stop now! I and perhaps almost all Filipinos want change.

Ilan pa ba ang kailangang mamatay para lang matuto tayong maghangad ng pagbabago?

For more info about the topic, Click Here

My Weakness

I'm a sucker for people who love Van Gogh.
Don't you just love people who appreciate art?
Art doesn't need to be beautiful but it certainly needs to have emotions/feelings...

On the left is Vincent Willem van Gogh's painting entitled "Starry Starry Night". It it is the same one that  inspired Don McLean to write a song about this exceptional artist. 


Sure, this painting has lots of colors but can you see the sadness it emanates? This is one of my favorite Van Gogh paintings.

This is entitled "Sunflowers". This is my favorite Van Gogh artwork for it represents reality --- life. Notice the state of the sunflowers? Some of them are fresh, happy-looking and sunny while the others are either about to wither or are already dead.
I don't need to elaborate. You get the point, right?


As the song "Vincent" says, 

Have I told you, Vincent

this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

 If you love Van Gogh ----
then ---


ILOVEYOU :)

Grayscale Business Management and Consultancy Services

I have been a writer, editor and team leader for this company for more than 2 years and it has been the best experience in my life. Sure, I've written by fair share of articles, essays, write ups, poems, sonnets and other stuff in the past but I've never considered writing as a career option before. This job had molded me into loving the art of writing. It had also brought me closer to advertising and business. I've also learned to embrace the wonderful world of online business and web-content writing. 


Probably the best thing about my work is its flexibility. Since I'm home-based, I don't have to worry about getting up early in the morning to go to the office. No more fare expenses and food allowance. I can also do my articles at any time of the day provided that I comply with the deadline.


For more information about Grayscale Business Management and Consultancy Services, click here GBMaCS

Poem, Prose or Cinquain?

scenes from the past slowly envelopes the mind

trying to forget what had been instead a contract is bind

all i did was love you... is that a crime?

you said you'll be with me forever but i guess you're out of time

if loving is such a wondrous feeling then why am i in pain?

i bore my sufferings, i choked upon your worthless games

you left me to rot alone in this cruel place

when all i did was to let love prevail...

verbose cinquains run into my tiny brain

feelings of pleasure, delight and pain

random thoughts i wished to relieve

as soon as i would try to believe....

Lara Nadezda Melencio


I made this prose 4 years ago... Just copied it from my old blog site... 

Small Things That Matter

Since I came home early from a party and since I wasn't too drunk to do anything other than sleep, I decided to take some pictures of my outfit focusing on the small details which make up fashion as it is.

This is taken in our dining room area. I flaunted this outfit at a friend's birthday dinner and vodka party. :))

(Just click on the pictures to have a better view)

Gold Headband - Girl Shoppe (You can also go for the dark brown headband)

Checkered Vest - My mom bought this at a certain Ukay shop in Anonas, QC

Black Razorback Top - I bought this a long time ago so I can't remember where I bought it.

Checkered Shorts - SM

Black Pumps - Aerosoles

Black Bag - Bella Donna

I call this the "Spoon and Fork Collection" by Sweet Accessories. I have been blessed to know Sweet and she customizes and creates a lot of accessories. If you are interested, I can show you some of her available collections.

The "Glam Gothic Collection"

This set goes with basically any party dress. I just love it!

This pair of shoes have small holes on the sides and the heels are made of wood but very light and comfortable to wear. I really recommend having a pair of black pumps for it can fit a lot of outfits.

Is This What You Call Art?! Seriously?!

Medium - Craypass, Black..
Just having fun with Dandan's art materials...
doodle wannabe...


(Click on the Photos for a Better View)

The Beatles-inspired cheesy one-liners! LOL..


"The Sun Won't Be The Same Without You"
"Haven't Seen a Rainbow Since You Left"
"After The Rain, The Sun Ain't Complete Without You As Its Rainbow"

LOVE KILLS
(i know)

Lomo-inspired Photography...

DJs are HOT but you're way HOTTER

It's art day... 


and I made this for you... :)))

Who Says Fashion's Only for the Rich and Famous??!?

I don't really have a particular fashion style. I just go with what I want to wear at the moment. Sometimes, I opt for the weirdest pieces but more often than not, I go for the simpler look. I love to play with colors when dressing up but don't be fooled! I can pull up a really hot Gothic attire if I wanted to. I have learned that shoes is the main factor in making an outfit click. Sure, it also has to go with accessories but the right shoes will always give you a confidence boost.


This is me getting ready for Cubao Expo's Halloween Party @ Future (which was postponed btw due to super typhoon Santi) I got to finally flaunt this attire a week after @ Cubao X and Taft...


Thai Top c/o my Brother&Sis-in-Law (from Bangkok)
Shorts c/o my beloved friend, Tina (This was a Xmas gift)
Pumps c/o myself (ukay, ukay along P.Tuazon) and Earrings c/o Sweet Accessories

This is a simple version of me. I just love my yellow top. I bought it at a random Ukay shop in Anonas. Project 3 has the best Ukay shops in metro manila. Of course, Baguio is still the best. 
I know the picture's a bit blurry but the main items here are the accessories.. I flaunted this outfit at a bar along Taft in Manila.


Purple Headband - Trinoma
Black Capiz Earrings - Cubao Flea Market
Purple beaded necklace - bought it at a shell, wood and bead shop in Cubao
Silver Hippie-ish Ring - c/o Sweet Accessories
Yellow top - Ukay ukay
Shorts - Sta. Lucia
Purple Dupe Slippers - (not on picture) SM Cubao
Thai Bag - (not on picture) Bangkok Floating Market

This is a trying-hard-to-be-bubbly look. I found my yellow flats (which I had bought over a year ago) hidden in my huge cabinet with boxes and boxes of shoes. I wanted a fresh and teen-looking outfit.


Headband - none
Earrings - none
Bag - none
Yellow Top c/o SM Cubao Teens Department
Purple Top @ my favorite Ukay store in Anonas
Green Checkered Shorts - Sta. Lucia
Yellow Flats - Isetan Cubao ( I got it on sale!1!)


I got to flaunt this teeny-bopper style at my mom's office in Caloocan.

This was taken after making my hair and make-up. The last picture before I put on my bridesmaid gown. I just wore this outfit going to the hotel. This was my brother's wedding day.


Earrings - SM Cubao accessories
Black Dress  - Pasig Flea Market
Gray Belt - SM Cubao
White-Strapped Sandals - (not on picture) a store in SM North Edsa
Flesh-colored Bag with Gray Straps - (not on pictures) SM Cubao

I call this my "Sun Dress". No, it's not a shortcut for Sunday Dress. It's a literal Sun dress cause this was time when I loved the sun so much. 


Retro Sunglasses - I just found my mom's old sunglasses. Now it's mine! haha!
Checkered Tube Dress - a gift from my lola (grandmother), Toronto
Beaded Anklet - Bought this at Laiya, Batangas. Me and my then-boyfriend have matching anklets.
Gold Dupe Slippers (not on picture) - SM Cubao
Brownish Hair Clip - I have no idea where I got it
Earrings - none

Taken at 77 Cafe in Q.C.
I'm drinking Infinit


Flesh Colored Top - a boutique in Metrowalk
Silver Bangles - gift from my stepmom, bought in Vietnam
Silver Dangling Earrings - 20-peso Store, Cubao
Checkered Shorts (not on picture) - Pasig Flea Market


I was also wearing my Gold Dupe Slippers.. :)))

My stepmom's old Reading Glasses
My Favorite Red Earrings
Green Spandex Top - greenhills
Skinny Jeans
Beaded Bracelets - bought at a vendor in Anonas
Purple Dupe Slippers


Office Fashion

At a vacation in Laiya, Batangas


My mom's old sunglasses
Earrings c/o my lola, Las Vegas
Necklace - bought at some Batangeno vendors in the area
Brown Top - Pasig Flea Market


I forgot what shorts/ pants/ leggings i wore...

Meet Dan Dan, my niece...
Such a cutie...


Great taste in fashion...


Well, that concludes my fashion list.
Will upload new pictures when I have the time.. :))

Pissed off...

I am extremely pissed off because I'm having problems with my cell service and our phone was cut. No cell service = no texts = cancelled plans = cancelled dates = no person to talk to other than myself. Okay, I was invited by someone really close to me (I mean, I was invited by my confirmation godfather) to have lunch and coffee. I was excited because I haven't seen him for like 5 years now it's his treat...

He's just 3 years older than me and very religious (and by religious I mean religiously famous and pious). He's really busy and I don't think we can reschedule our chitchat next week. In addition, my early morning jogs at Marikina Sports Complex were also compromised due to this Typhoon/Tropical Cyclone thingy called "Ondoy"(Ketsana is its Intenational Code Name). This typhoon is the worst of its kind. I'm deeply worried for one of my best friends got stranded in Marikina particularly in Provident Village (the worst place to get stranded in due to exaggerated floods that drives people to go to their rooftops just to be safe). Well, let's not talk about disasters. Let's talk about my night last Friday.. :)

I watched Peacepipe's gig at Guerrilla Radio in Shaw Blvd. The vocalist, Jeck Pilpil got me captivated and it's safe to say that I was captivated by his voice, his Bob Marley-ish moves and stoned accent.. I developed a weird habit of checking out any hot guy for a ring. If he has a ring, well he's off limits meaning he's happily married. If not, I'm free to drool over him. LOL. Well, I think a lot of girls do that and I learned that from a friend. Ok, so I checked if the hot Peacepipe vocalist has a ring and guess what girls, he doesn't have one!! Ha! Thanks to the wonderful world of the Internet and the helpful search engine called Google, I researched and I found out he has a domestic partner (or a wife and this hot vocalist doesn't wear his ring when performing) and also has a cute son. This sad fact doesn't mean that any girl should stop admiring the band's music. For those of you who don't know, Peacepipe is a great reggae band. I've seen them perform countless of times and they're really good. They've recently renamed their band to "Jeck Pilpil and Peacepipe" just like Bob Marley and the Wailers. One of my best friends is a huge fan of the reggae scene and he was the one who influenced me with this kind of music. According to my best friend, Jeck Pilpil is a respected reggae artist and activist. Last Friday's gig was memorable. It was the last gig of their keyboardist. I hope they find a talented replacement.

Next, I went to Cubao X (formerly Marikina Shoe expo) to catch up with my fellow Grayscale writers. we drank at Mogwai even if it was raining cats and dogs. Then we switched to future where I met the hottest and the funkiest DJ in town, Eggboy. Trivia: Eggboy = Daddymaps = Diego Mapa (Pedicab, Cambio, Monsterbot). Our chat was basically about why I love and adore

his brother, Jao Mapa, and how I love indie films and theater. I know, it was weird. Ha! Me talking to him about someone else and ignoring his works altogether. I'm not a typical fan, mind you! As much as I adore Diego Mapa, I am totally in love with Jao!

I haven't watched all of Jao's films but I really adore his versatility and acting skills as well as his career choices. I'm still deciding whether I'll be a stalker or not. Talk about psycho! A Date with Jao Mapa epic fail! (Pun Clearly Intended). BTW, the Mapa Brothers both have rings... haha! Married!!!

Thoughts....

The problem with love is ---

SOMEONE ALWAYS GETS HURT..

Even if the other person doesn't mean to

Even if the persons involved strive not to do it

Even if they are in love

LOVE is overrated

LOVE does not conquer all

Who gets to choose who deserves to be loved?

Who gets to choose who deserves to be left alone?

Who would ever want to be hurt?

Who ends up bleeding?

Jim Morrison, The Doors, Rock n' Roll 60's

I am a great fan of The Doors. I love Jim Morrison! This is yet another episode of my "wishing I was a teenager in the 60s" series.

Just looking at Jim's photos while typing my thoughts about him makes me hyperventilate! He's so hot! As in hot! Oh, the word for today is -- what else? "HOT"

This was supposed to be a formal who-is-Jim-Morrison-type of writing but as you can see, I was clearly distracted by his awesomeness. Ok, let's start.

James Douglas Morrison or simply Jim Morrison was born on Dec. 8, 1943 and died on Jul. 3, 1971. He was 27 years old. I knew there was some connection between us the moment I first heard his songs. You see, I was born on July 3. Is it merely a coincidence or a lifelong worth of connection through his music? Despite his self-destructive persona, Morrison was a genius, poet, filmaker and musician. It had been said that his IQ was 149.

Like all rockstars, Morrison was also into the so-called "Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll" scene. People saw him wither away and burn out during the late 60s and he resulted into heavy drinking and taking drugs. Morrison died due to heroin overdose though the details are still a mystery until now for there had been different versions of the story.


This is a photo of Morrison with his long-time partner Pamela Courson. Courson was with Morrison the day that he died. It had been said that Morrison did not die in his hotel room in France. Rather, he had an overdose inside a club somewhere in Paris and was only brought back to his hotel room to protect the name and reputation of the club. Courson died 3 years later also due to heroin overdose. At the time of Courson's death, she was also 27 years old just like Morrison.


This couple reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. They are the true Romeo and Juliet of society. A love story that was not perfect, but real.

Jim Morrison's talent was exceptional. Too bad he wasn't able to be with us long enough.

(Ok, so I am very very sleepy. If this post about Morrison doesn't make sense, don't blame me,.. I'm stoned! LOL)

1960s

There's not much to say about this era. Obviously, I wasn't born in the 60s though if I was, I wouldn't waste my time writing about it like a spoiled 10 year-old.

So, 1960s... hmm?!... This is myfavorite decade. How come? Well, I love hippie music, the hippie scene and the earthly fashion. Kinda shallow right? Well, I love the earth, I love activism, I love dresses, I love music and most importantly, I love freedom. The 1960s is a much better decade compared to the so-called "drugs,sex and rock and roll" scene in the early 80s.

1960s is the decade wherein we appreciate the simple joys of life. It is the time when we value music and friendship more than any other. It is the time of unity and a little chaos because of fighting for what we believe in. It is the period of uniqueness -- the new age.

I've always wanted to be a hippie. Like I said, I love the fashion, the music and the environment. Oh, it would be a dream come true if I were to have been a teenager in the 60s!

Who wouldn't want a carefree life? Imagine living in a world where you don't have to worry what to eat, whatto do and never to follow the norms ofsociety. Indeed, it's utopia!

For me, 1960s rock! Don't Worry, BeHIPPIE!!!

Gay Men

I have nothing against gay men though Ifind them annoying.. They're annoying ina sense that they're so attractive and it pisses me off for I know I can't have them. Of course I'm referring to closet gays.. The ones that look, act and talk like guys. Oh I loathe them!They're so perfect and cute. So why the hell would they prefer the same sex?

I read a book about a girl who thinks she's the "perfect transition girl". She had all these boyfriends that turned outto be gay. She thinks that her exboyfriends realize that they like men after being with her. It's so weird and degrading to the nth power!

Eversince I had a very traumatic episode involving a closet gay with a terrible temper, I have realized that being gay is beyond anyone's control. It's like longing for someone you can'thave but still longing for him all the more. It's like having everything you could wish for but still feels incomplete at the end of the day.

Lots of things are going through my mind right now -- mostly "could'ves, should'ves and what ifs".. If there is one thing I regret in the past, it was for not holding his hand when he made the switch. I could've risked everything just to be "he's transition girl"...