Why the First Song on my Playlist is Vincent (Starry Starry Night)

HARANA - A Filipino term for "serenade".

In Filipino culture, harana is considered one of the best tactics in courting a girl. If you are an eligible bachelor who knows how to play the guitar and with a good voice, you can easily make HARANA without any complications.

Me and my late boyfriend, Ricky, both love Van Gogh. We are both fascinated by how artistic Vincent Wilhelm Van Gogh is and we are both aware of the tragedies and difficulties in life that he underwent. I have posted in my facebook "about me" section that "If you LOVE VAN GOGH, then I LOVE YOU". It just so happened that Ricky also loved Van Gogh (talk about soul mates and common interests).

To cut the story short, Ricky just knows how to play the guitar and he has this amazing voice. He always used to serenade me with the song Vincent and it was the best version I've ever heard. I even recorded a video of him playing the song but my memory card got corrupted. I never had the chance to record it again but even so, the memory is still as vivid as ever.

I miss him so much. I miss the butterflies in my stomach, heart-pumping feelings (like my heart wants to get out of my chest) and the "kilig" moments.

Over Tears and Coffee

Quotes from goodreads.com. I did put extra emphasis on the ones I can relate to personally.


“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” 
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where you're headed” 
― Jodi Picoult

“There is no pretending", Jace said with absolute clarity."I love you,and I will love you until I die,and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then."She caught her breath. He had said it-the words there was no going back from.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“He looked so lost, so soulful, so lonely. I wanted him to kiss me now. I wanted to let him know I was his for all eternity.” 
― Ellen Schreiber, Vampire Kisses

“They say true love only comes around once and you have to hold out and be strong until then. I have been waiting. I have been searching. I am a man under the moon, walking the streets of earth until dawn. There's got to be someone for me. It's not too much to ask. Just someone to be with. Someone to love. Someone to give everything to. Someone.” 
― Henry Rollins

“When forever becomes a place...when forever ceases to be just a word… when it ceases to be just a measurement of time…but instead becomes a place where soul mates can dance to the song in their hearts, that is a reflection of true love.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“I've felt basically lucky ever since, almost every day of my life. That's something else love should make you feel. It should make you fell fortunate.
It will be made clear to you in a stray gesture, the line of a throat. Something in the hands. There may or may not be any music playing. But there will be a certain velocity of the spirit, a sensation of dropping through clear space unimpeded, and you think, This is the one. I found you.” 
― Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles

 “True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, "I'm not afraid to believe in you.” 
― Cara Lockwood, I Do (But I Don't)

“If it's possible to send a message from heaven, I'll get one to you.” ― Lurlene McDaniel, Don't Die, My Love

The Happiest Person has the Saddest Story to Tell

Taken last summer (April 2013) at Korokan Iba, Zambales

Telling something funny to friends.

1st VideoBlog. Please follow, rate, comment, share or anything!

Coping with Grief and Recovery Process from Lai on Vimeo.

TYPO and MENTAL error: CRITIQUE=CRITIC

It's our 2nd anniversary BABE! Tinuloy ko pa rin to kasi ito yung inaabangan kasi talaga natin. We were supposed to go out of town and leave everything behind. We were supposed to have a week-long celebration.

This time, it's a celebration of tastes, memories, life and love. Ito yung mga pagkain na memorable sa kin, sa tin - mga hilig nating ibigay sa isa't isa. Kahit you're not physically here to celebrate this day, at least I got to celebrate it with the people we love -friends and family.

Salamat sa lahat lahat BABE. Salamat sa pag aalaga sa akin, lalong lalo na pag may sakit ako. Salamat sa laging pagremind sa akin na mahal na mahal mo ko. Salamat sa mga ngiti at tawa mo na laging nagpapagaan ng loob ko. Salamat sa paghatid sa kin araw-araw papuntang school at sa pag attend ng activities ko sa school.Thank you for being there for me sa lahat ng oras, mapa-worst or best moments of my life. Thank you for always telling me I am beautiful whenever I needed a confidence boost. Thank you for believing in me and being my number1 fan in everything. Thank you for sharing all your hopes, dreams and worst fears to me. Thank you for being the ideal partner - my perfect boyfriend. Thank you for the unconditional love babe na hanggang sa huli ay pinakita at ipinadama mo sa kin. Thank you for the wonderful memories. Hinding hindi na yun maaalis sa isip, puso at kaluluwa ko. I will always look back at those memories dahil yun ang pinakamasaya ko. Being with you was as natural as breathing.

Kulang ang space dito kung ieenumerate ko lahat ng namimiss ko. Yung malaki mong tyan na favorite kong gawing unan, yung paghilik mo ng malakas na minsan parang nananakot, yung nagsasalita ka habang tulog, yung ichura mo pag nagtatampo, yung reaksyon ng mukha mo pag hindi ako nakapag "I love you too" agad, yung mga yakap mo pag sobrang down na down ako, encouraging words mo pag naaasar ako sa buhay, pagtulong mo sa mga video and powerpoint presentations ko, yung pagsugod mo sa bahay at iniiwan lahat ng ginagawa mo pag naaaksidente ako, yung maya't mayang text mo habang nagkaklase ako, yung paghele mo sakin para makatulog, yung pag sinabi mong "hindi pwede" at alam ko talagang hindi talaga pwede, yung pagkanta mo nung song natin at random moments and so much more.

Parang naputulan ako ng mga paa nung nawala ka. Lahat ng plano at pangarap na tayong dalawa ang nagbuo bigla bigla na lang nawala. Kung gaano kabilis kang ibinigay sa kin, ganun din kabilis kinuha. Oo nahihirapan pa rin ako. Masakit pa rin isipin na hindi na kita makikita ulit, na hindi na tayo tatandang magkasama. Hindi naman madaling maiwanan. Hindi naman madaling mag move on lalo na kung alam naman natin na hindi mo rin ako ginustong iwan.

Gaya nga ng pinost ko noon sa fb, "you are my inspiration in everything I was, I am and will be." you will always have a special place in my heart BABE. Hinding hindi kita malilimutan. You taught me a lot things. You made me a better person. You became my light when everything seemed to be so dark. You were my rock. Itong mga bagay na to alam kong once in a lifetime ko lang mararanasan and I'm so grateful that I got to share these with you.

Hindi ko niroromanticize ang love story natin. Ikaw na ikaw talaga yan BABE. Mahirap man paniwalaan na may taong ganito, eh ganito ka eh - ikaw 'to. Hindi man ako showy at affectionate na girlfriend, sana naramdaman mo kung gaano kita kamahal in my own little ways. Sana naramdaman mo how grateful I was to have had you in my life. I was the luckiest person to experience such true love that will last a lifetime. Na kahit sa sandaling panahon lang, we were happy.

Click Here for More Photos

This was taken during a mob for sintax. 10.15.12. I love you babe, my soulmate, my twin soul. always and forever. Until the next life.

Thanks to PLM comrades Larry Pascua and Tado Jimenez, I finally got this signed babe! This is my gift to you. I love you so much. Today should've been our 22nd month together. I'm missing you more and more everyday. This was the last book that you bought and read. I Love You.

Last Post for The Month

I am still not ready for school! My mind, body and soul is still in the volunteering/humanitarian work mode. I am clearly not ready for long hours at school and a bunch of homework. But of course, I have to.

Enrollment's next week and classes start on June 8. I still have to figure out a way to keep the balance between school, work, social life and my love life. These 4 aspects of life are really tricky. Favoring just one aspect might cause all the others to tremble and fall down. 

On a lighter note, today is me and my boyfriend's 14th monthsary. Yes, we're 14 months now. No celebrations, fancy dinners or even a walk in the park today. Just a day of rest, simple food and each other's company would suffice. Having each other is what really matters right?

I have run out of things to say, my creative mind is on a sabbatical. I haven't had enough sleep since I started this volunteering/humanitarian work thing last month. Creativity takes a lot of time and a lot of rest, I assure you. I'll get back to you guys after a few weeks of rest.

You can all suggest topics if you like. Just comment, tweet or email me about anything under the sun.

Surprised!

My boyfriend made a slideshow video of us on Youtube.

 

It was really really sweet. I love you babe! No words can ever express how much I feel for you!

Thank you for this wonderful video.

Isn't this the sweetest thing a guy could do for a girl? 

Wanted: Female Dachshund

I was browsing the Internet looking for effective ways on how to take care of my other dog, GORBY, a half terrier, half shih tzu 1 year old dog that we have in the office when it suddenly occurred to me, my beloved dog, BOGART is turning 4 years old this year.

The impending thought of losing my BOGART scared me. The average lifespan of a dog is 12-15 years. So I only have a few years left to share with my dog -- my baby. I want my dog to experience all the dog things that he has to experience while he is still with me -such as having a partner and having beautiful puppies.

I am looking for a female dachshund, preferably 3 years of age, a bit skinny like my dog, pure breed with papers to be my dog's partner.


PLEASE FIND A PARTNER FOR MY BABY. :)

(This photo was taken when BOGART was more than a year old)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE!

MARCH 28, 2012 - Our 1st year together.

I promised my boyfriend I'll post something today about us. Here it is:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

What Are You Waiting For?

I miss partying, INDIE STYLE. I haven't gone to a "drink till you turn purple and die to live again" kind of party for the longest time. It feels like ages ago...

Now, all I see, hear and feel are  butterflies, rainbows, flowers and lots of sunshine... Hey, I'm not complaining! It's just that when you start to neglect something, you tend to miss it..








Can I have both? Love and partying? <3

122 days of Love and still counting...

A major No-No in every blog, account or whatsoever in the Internet would be never as in never post a photo of you and your significant other. For what reason? Well, duh. It is in order to avoid painful memories and tiresome "deleting acts" when you break up. 

I have had a lot of exes ever since I started this blog and I have just posted just one opposite sex here and since it's our 4th monthsary (yey.), I will post this picture.

Why am I doing this? Because I am optimistic about this relationship. I know this will be forever. I am willing to take the risk. This is the true essence of love, is it not?

I LOVE YOU RICKY BALDEZAR DE ASIS.

Did You Guys Miss Me?

Well, did you? Did you?
Crazy times. God, I never thought I'd write in this blog again. I missed you guys, from the very bottom of my lonely but happy heart. Here's a treat for you guys, I was in the training room last night (Oh, I have a new job by th way as a "trusted adviser"/ customer care rep. *Clap clap!*) and had a lot of free time. I read a story about Marilyn Manson's plans to do his interpretation of Lewis Carroll (The eccentric mind behind Alice and Wonderland).

Before I start and share this disturbing yet artistic video, I would like to share to you a few personal info. First and foremost, I am a Marilyn Manson fan. I love his individuality and over-the-top theatrics. Over time, this liking for drifted far far away due to reasons that are many to think of. One is because I am getting a bit old and sick of his theatrics and second, because he tends to overdo things (meaning it eventually lacks class and taste). Forgive my grammar or basically the entire way of writing. I have been a scatterbrain lately and you all have to understand that I just got home from a graveyard shift and I am really really as in totally sleeeeeeppppyyy. Anyway, back to the topic, as you see. I became interested once more in Marilyn Manson. It is true that this movie is a bit disturbing but on the bright side, you will definitely see Manson's artistry. He is truly a hell of an artist.

Be warned: This video is not for the faint of heart or even for the conservatives.

Enough of the "blah blahs"... Here's the video guys, HOPE YA ALL LIKE IT.

Oh, I forgot to mention, this movie was cancelled in production due to explicit content. WATCH WITH YOUR OWN RISK.

--Loving You Guys Eternally, Five Times Over,
LAI

*Let's watch the preview first:
Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll PREVIEW
(embedding was disabled, zarreeeyyy. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeixzZTt92o

Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll Trailer

Letter to Montague

My Montague,

Let's just say that I always see the good in people -- that tiny speck of goodness left in their hearts.

A lot of people think I'm crazy. A lot of people perceive me as a little girl, trying to save those who are not worth saving, but I didn't care. But what did you repay me? A little kindness but a ton of shit.

You are the reason why I lost all hope in mankind. You are the living proof that there really is no room for change. In Tagalog , "Ganyan ka na lang". No matter how hard I help you, if you are not willing to do this for yourself, you will be forever stuck in that bunch of crap you have created. I've had enough of your inconsistencies. You are the exception, I cannot fight for you anymore.

Sometimes, quiting, surrendering, losing faith in someone may not be the best decision but it is the right thing to do.

You're on your own. I wish you the best.

Capulet

I have seen "BITTER" days... and Nights!

Reps to all the people I saw last night at Cubao X! The crowd never ceases to amaze me.. There's always something in Cubao X that will surprise you. Well, then again, it just might be the people, the conversation, the events or the alcohol.

Last night was a different story. Since, this blog was really made for unrequited love and star-crossed lovers, there ought to be just a tiny inch of negativity. Okay, so it was a bitter night -- far much bitter than the rest. I am trying to write this amidst the hangover so please forgive the scattered thoughts. Anyway, I am depressed --- BIGTIME and I don't know why. This actually sucks the life out of me. Is this maturity calling? Is it my heart bleeding? Bah! I don't really know.

Despite the fact that I am kind of "over the edge" right now, I am not bitter. At least that's the one thing I know I am not. See, my friends and I had a long chat about bitterness, about their exes and stuff. The result --- it feeds on my depression.

For all those BITTER sour-grapes out there, you have to.....

10 Things. Just 10 Things.

I need a boyfriend. Want to apply? Please send your CVs to laranadezdamelencio@gmail.com..

Requirements:

1. Pleasing personality.
2. Has to have any background in the field of arts (writing, painting, music, fashion, poetry or literature). Just one will do.
3. Preferably someone with long hair (okay so long-haired guys are my weakness but it doesn't really matter. It's just a plus factor)
4. Someone who is not a commitment phobe.
5. Doesn't like complications.
6. Preferably someone who doesn't have any vices like smoking, drinking, drugs, etc.
7. Only drinks occasionally.
8. Can be a smoker but definitely not an alcoholic.
9. Shares the same passion about helping people.
10. Someone who is consistent.

See. I'm not so picky after all. :))

For those of you who think this is not a joke, you can send your CVs to laranadezdamelencio@gmail.com or you can text me. My number is at the top left portion of this blog.

For those of you who think this is a joke, well yeah I'm just doing this for fun but "Jokes are half meant anyway". Haha

>>I've got to find another Montague

To Commit or Not To Commit?

To Commit or Not To Commit? This question had been lingering my mind now for days. Commitment can be a lot of things. What kind of commitment am I talking about anyway? It can be about work, about having a stable job, about God, about love, about someone special in your life right now. Whether they are about any of these things, the question still remains... "To Commit or Not To Commit"?


I read a book entitled The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. One of my favorite lines there was the distinction between "Freedom from and Freedom to."  According to the book, during the days of anarchy, we are rewarded with "Freedom to"... freedom to love, freedom to hate, freedom to oppress and the like. But with the advent of the new government and religion (You should read the book. It's great!), the people had been rewarded with "Freedom from"... freedom from love, freedom from hate, freedom from oppression and the like. So which is better? Freedom from or Freedom to? I would choose the latter.


Back to the commitment thing. When is the right time to commit yourself? When is the right time not to commit? How can you choose whether to commit or not? Who gets to choose? I'll answer the last question, "I do --- and you do too".


Lots of thoughts, more ideas.

No matter what this leads, I'll always be your Capulet.., my Montague...

Experimentation

Experimenting with shades and stuff..

LOMO LOVE

These aren't my pictures.

Just got them off the Internet...

I haven't bought a lomo cam yet but I just thought I'd share these to you guys...

I'm buying a lomo cam next payday! That's a promise! :))