Over Tears and Coffee

Quotes from goodreads.com. I did put extra emphasis on the ones I can relate to personally.


“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” 
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where you're headed” 
― Jodi Picoult

“There is no pretending", Jace said with absolute clarity."I love you,and I will love you until I die,and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then."She caught her breath. He had said it-the words there was no going back from.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“He looked so lost, so soulful, so lonely. I wanted him to kiss me now. I wanted to let him know I was his for all eternity.” 
― Ellen Schreiber, Vampire Kisses

“They say true love only comes around once and you have to hold out and be strong until then. I have been waiting. I have been searching. I am a man under the moon, walking the streets of earth until dawn. There's got to be someone for me. It's not too much to ask. Just someone to be with. Someone to love. Someone to give everything to. Someone.” 
― Henry Rollins

“When forever becomes a place...when forever ceases to be just a word… when it ceases to be just a measurement of time…but instead becomes a place where soul mates can dance to the song in their hearts, that is a reflection of true love.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“I've felt basically lucky ever since, almost every day of my life. That's something else love should make you feel. It should make you fell fortunate.
It will be made clear to you in a stray gesture, the line of a throat. Something in the hands. There may or may not be any music playing. But there will be a certain velocity of the spirit, a sensation of dropping through clear space unimpeded, and you think, This is the one. I found you.” 
― Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles

 “True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, "I'm not afraid to believe in you.” 
― Cara Lockwood, I Do (But I Don't)

“If it's possible to send a message from heaven, I'll get one to you.” ― Lurlene McDaniel, Don't Die, My Love

It's our 2nd anniversary BABE! Tinuloy ko pa rin to kasi ito yung inaabangan kasi talaga natin. We were supposed to go out of town and leave everything behind. We were supposed to have a week-long celebration.

This time, it's a celebration of tastes, memories, life and love. Ito yung mga pagkain na memorable sa kin, sa tin - mga hilig nating ibigay sa isa't isa. Kahit you're not physically here to celebrate this day, at least I got to celebrate it with the people we love -friends and family.

Salamat sa lahat lahat BABE. Salamat sa pag aalaga sa akin, lalong lalo na pag may sakit ako. Salamat sa laging pagremind sa akin na mahal na mahal mo ko. Salamat sa mga ngiti at tawa mo na laging nagpapagaan ng loob ko. Salamat sa paghatid sa kin araw-araw papuntang school at sa pag attend ng activities ko sa school.Thank you for being there for me sa lahat ng oras, mapa-worst or best moments of my life. Thank you for always telling me I am beautiful whenever I needed a confidence boost. Thank you for believing in me and being my number1 fan in everything. Thank you for sharing all your hopes, dreams and worst fears to me. Thank you for being the ideal partner - my perfect boyfriend. Thank you for the unconditional love babe na hanggang sa huli ay pinakita at ipinadama mo sa kin. Thank you for the wonderful memories. Hinding hindi na yun maaalis sa isip, puso at kaluluwa ko. I will always look back at those memories dahil yun ang pinakamasaya ko. Being with you was as natural as breathing.

Kulang ang space dito kung ieenumerate ko lahat ng namimiss ko. Yung malaki mong tyan na favorite kong gawing unan, yung paghilik mo ng malakas na minsan parang nananakot, yung nagsasalita ka habang tulog, yung ichura mo pag nagtatampo, yung reaksyon ng mukha mo pag hindi ako nakapag "I love you too" agad, yung mga yakap mo pag sobrang down na down ako, encouraging words mo pag naaasar ako sa buhay, pagtulong mo sa mga video and powerpoint presentations ko, yung pagsugod mo sa bahay at iniiwan lahat ng ginagawa mo pag naaaksidente ako, yung maya't mayang text mo habang nagkaklase ako, yung paghele mo sakin para makatulog, yung pag sinabi mong "hindi pwede" at alam ko talagang hindi talaga pwede, yung pagkanta mo nung song natin at random moments and so much more.

Parang naputulan ako ng mga paa nung nawala ka. Lahat ng plano at pangarap na tayong dalawa ang nagbuo bigla bigla na lang nawala. Kung gaano kabilis kang ibinigay sa kin, ganun din kabilis kinuha. Oo nahihirapan pa rin ako. Masakit pa rin isipin na hindi na kita makikita ulit, na hindi na tayo tatandang magkasama. Hindi naman madaling maiwanan. Hindi naman madaling mag move on lalo na kung alam naman natin na hindi mo rin ako ginustong iwan.

Gaya nga ng pinost ko noon sa fb, "you are my inspiration in everything I was, I am and will be." you will always have a special place in my heart BABE. Hinding hindi kita malilimutan. You taught me a lot things. You made me a better person. You became my light when everything seemed to be so dark. You were my rock. Itong mga bagay na to alam kong once in a lifetime ko lang mararanasan and I'm so grateful that I got to share these with you.

Hindi ko niroromanticize ang love story natin. Ikaw na ikaw talaga yan BABE. Mahirap man paniwalaan na may taong ganito, eh ganito ka eh - ikaw 'to. Hindi man ako showy at affectionate na girlfriend, sana naramdaman mo kung gaano kita kamahal in my own little ways. Sana naramdaman mo how grateful I was to have had you in my life. I was the luckiest person to experience such true love that will last a lifetime. Na kahit sa sandaling panahon lang, we were happy.

Click Here for More Photos

Letter to Montague

My Montague,

Let's just say that I always see the good in people -- that tiny speck of goodness left in their hearts.

A lot of people think I'm crazy. A lot of people perceive me as a little girl, trying to save those who are not worth saving, but I didn't care. But what did you repay me? A little kindness but a ton of shit.

You are the reason why I lost all hope in mankind. You are the living proof that there really is no room for change. In Tagalog , "Ganyan ka na lang". No matter how hard I help you, if you are not willing to do this for yourself, you will be forever stuck in that bunch of crap you have created. I've had enough of your inconsistencies. You are the exception, I cannot fight for you anymore.

Sometimes, quiting, surrendering, losing faith in someone may not be the best decision but it is the right thing to do.

You're on your own. I wish you the best.

Capulet

I have seen "BITTER" days... and Nights!

Reps to all the people I saw last night at Cubao X! The crowd never ceases to amaze me.. There's always something in Cubao X that will surprise you. Well, then again, it just might be the people, the conversation, the events or the alcohol.

Last night was a different story. Since, this blog was really made for unrequited love and star-crossed lovers, there ought to be just a tiny inch of negativity. Okay, so it was a bitter night -- far much bitter than the rest. I am trying to write this amidst the hangover so please forgive the scattered thoughts. Anyway, I am depressed --- BIGTIME and I don't know why. This actually sucks the life out of me. Is this maturity calling? Is it my heart bleeding? Bah! I don't really know.

Despite the fact that I am kind of "over the edge" right now, I am not bitter. At least that's the one thing I know I am not. See, my friends and I had a long chat about bitterness, about their exes and stuff. The result --- it feeds on my depression.

For all those BITTER sour-grapes out there, you have to.....

To Commit or Not To Commit?

To Commit or Not To Commit? This question had been lingering my mind now for days. Commitment can be a lot of things. What kind of commitment am I talking about anyway? It can be about work, about having a stable job, about God, about love, about someone special in your life right now. Whether they are about any of these things, the question still remains... "To Commit or Not To Commit"?


I read a book entitled The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. One of my favorite lines there was the distinction between "Freedom from and Freedom to."  According to the book, during the days of anarchy, we are rewarded with "Freedom to"... freedom to love, freedom to hate, freedom to oppress and the like. But with the advent of the new government and religion (You should read the book. It's great!), the people had been rewarded with "Freedom from"... freedom from love, freedom from hate, freedom from oppression and the like. So which is better? Freedom from or Freedom to? I would choose the latter.


Back to the commitment thing. When is the right time to commit yourself? When is the right time not to commit? How can you choose whether to commit or not? Who gets to choose? I'll answer the last question, "I do --- and you do too".


Lots of thoughts, more ideas.

No matter what this leads, I'll always be your Capulet.., my Montague...

Past Tense

This is for him (I am referring to the person I was referring to in my first few stories here in my blog).  I don't usually tell all the actual details especially when I'm writing about my own "UNREQUITED LOVE// STAR-CROSSED LOVERS" story but these are so poetic. So, I'd like to share them with you guys...


DISCLAIMER: All the persons I was, am and will be referring to in this blog may or may not exist. It can be a mere figment of my imagination or it can be a real person. Hypothetically speaking, I will never disclose the real name of the persons (if and only if they are indeed real) due to reasons that are too many to think of. 

No matter what you say,

No matter what you do,

No matter what happens,

You're still MINE

and I'm still YOURS...

^^Yup, that was my first text message. It's entertaining, really. You see, it's sort of like a "jinx". No matter what he says, no matter what he does and no matter what happens, he can't change the fact that we belong together... Feeler... Ha ha!! 

I complicate your life. You complicate mine too. So let's complicate life together. It's better to experience all the ups and downs of life with someone rather than being alone. Ahahaha... (Tagalog: Pagpasensiyahan mo na ko) (Translation: Forgive my blurting out) I just love the feeling of being in love with you.You were my best dream. Sadly, I woke up.Can you put me to sleep one more time? So I can continue dreaming of you...

 ^^My favorite!!! 

Yes, I made these quotes myself. As usual, I haven't received any reply. I wasn't expecting any either.
 I enjoy the feeling of constantly getting hurt.. Am I a masochist or something?? Or am I drawn to the wonderful illusion that amidst every rain is a rainbow?? Am I really that stupid?? Or is this what you call UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Between Montagues and Capulets

Juliet: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Romeo: [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

Juliet:'Tis but thy name that is my enemy:

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot,

Nor arm nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to a man. O be some other name!

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other word would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

and for thy name, which is no part of thee,

Take all myself.

Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 33–49

"Banat" for Filipinos :))

It Was Only a Kiss... It was Only a Kiss...

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." 

by Thomas Paine


Songs: (Click on the Playlist)

• The Killers - Mr. Brightside
• Mishon - Just a Kiss
• Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

Poem, Prose or Cinquain?

scenes from the past slowly envelopes the mind

trying to forget what had been instead a contract is bind

all i did was love you... is that a crime?

you said you'll be with me forever but i guess you're out of time

if loving is such a wondrous feeling then why am i in pain?

i bore my sufferings, i choked upon your worthless games

you left me to rot alone in this cruel place

when all i did was to let love prevail...

verbose cinquains run into my tiny brain

feelings of pleasure, delight and pain

random thoughts i wished to relieve

as soon as i would try to believe....

Lara Nadezda Melencio


I made this prose 4 years ago... Just copied it from my old blog site... 

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

 Love and Death 

 

Love knows no reason...It chooses every person it wants... You don't have to think about it. Just follow your heart.. Love is the answer... Love is the reason... Love is everything...

Thoughts....

The problem with love is ---

SOMEONE ALWAYS GETS HURT..

Even if the other person doesn't mean to

Even if the persons involved strive not to do it

Even if they are in love

LOVE is overrated

LOVE does not conquer all

Who gets to choose who deserves to be loved?

Who gets to choose who deserves to be left alone?

Who would ever want to be hurt?

Who ends up bleeding?

Gay Men

I have nothing against gay men though Ifind them annoying.. They're annoying ina sense that they're so attractive and it pisses me off for I know I can't have them. Of course I'm referring to closet gays.. The ones that look, act and talk like guys. Oh I loathe them!They're so perfect and cute. So why the hell would they prefer the same sex?

I read a book about a girl who thinks she's the "perfect transition girl". She had all these boyfriends that turned outto be gay. She thinks that her exboyfriends realize that they like men after being with her. It's so weird and degrading to the nth power!

Eversince I had a very traumatic episode involving a closet gay with a terrible temper, I have realized that being gay is beyond anyone's control. It's like longing for someone you can'thave but still longing for him all the more. It's like having everything you could wish for but still feels incomplete at the end of the day.

Lots of things are going through my mind right now -- mostly "could'ves, should'ves and what ifs".. If there is one thing I regret in the past, it was for not holding his hand when he made the switch. I could've risked everything just to be "he's transition girl"...

The Twilight Saga

I wasn't paid to advertise the book -- though, subconsciously, i wish i was! :)

TWILIGHT...

What comes in your mind when you hear the word TWILIGHT?
Is it the movie? The book? The literal meaning? Some old memory?
I'm sure most of you will answer the first two and you are in fact correct.
Yes, I'm talking about the TWILIGHT MOVIE and BOOK...
Let's just say this is some kind of a movie review, personal opinion and my own recollection or whatever!


THE MOVIE..

The movie is OK. It's not GREAT but definitely OK. To be honest, I watched the movie first before buying the book. How stupid! Well, due to "A LOT" of deadlines (I am a writer by the way), I wasn't up-to-date with the latest Bestsellers. I had to see the line "the best book after Harry Potter" in the movie trailer before I understood that it was a book. How stupid! So, what about the movie?

Well, the movie hadn't stayed truthful with the book. There had been a lot of negative comments about that. Some fans didn't really like Robert Pattinson as Edward. But let's face it, the movie is a success right? I mean, of course the cinematic crew had to change some scenes from the book. How would the movie look like if Bella and Edward had been talking for like 30 minutes straight? That s*cks, right? So, they put a lot of action and drama at the same time.

To wrap this up, I'm giving it a 7/10 rating..



THE BOOK...

No other word can explain what the book is except AMAZING! The book is a product of a genius! Sure, it's a typical teenage love story but-- i have to admit -- it is the best! It isn't a story of UNREQUITED LOVE so it doesn't fit in my blog but it's all about Forbidden Love! I get excited whenever I hear the word "Forbidden"! Oooh... Deadly sins! Anyway, I just read the first book. The second book, NEW MOON, is almost finished (audio book because all the books were sold out! OUCH) The third installment for this 4-book saga is in my bookshelf waiting to be read. The fourth book? Nothing! Na-a. Na-da. Zero! Have to buy whenever there's stock!!!



Anyway, let's focus on only TWILIGHT. .
I envy Bella. I envy Isabella Marie Swan in every single detail. I want to be her. I envy her for having Edward. Edward is so sweet and charming and sweet and charming and sweet (oh, sorry.. got carried away). But he's really swee-- you know the rest. I envy the author, Stephenie Meyer. I envy her for she created a different kind of world - a world where I have lingered on ever since. I know it's ridiculous, but I am hoping that well, some parts of the book are true and that it can really happen. OH MY! Stephenie Meyer is really a talented writer. The book is SUPERB!!!


15 oranges for you Stephenie Meyer! Your my favorite author (Well, aside from JK Rowling, Margaret Atwood and Paulo Coelho)

Story of Him Part 1

Forgive the title. I can't think of any appropriate title at the moment. I'll just change it later.

First off, I'm a girl. (No, not exactly) I'm a lady. (That's better)

I met this typically "cute" guy in Manila. This happened 4 years ago. Yes, it's been so long yet it feels like yesterday. I can still remember the good times. Sadly, they're all just memories now. I've tried to move on but there's always this small spot that belongs to him. There's a small spot in my heart that solely belongs to him. No matter what I do, I can't wipe it clean. Yes, I'm still in love with him. It's not that I haven't tried to make things right. I have tried dozens of times and I failed. Now, let me tell you his story.

My friends and I always go to Manila once a week. It's a sort of weekly get-together. It's fun and exciting. We always get to meet new people. I met him from a common friend. He's quiet and mysterious, exactly my type. I did not really bother to get to know him for my heart belongs to someone else back then. After a week, we saw each other again. I was pretty wasted that time but I didn't really care. I was high! What will I care about? What started as very embarrassing moment turned out to be a very good friendship. We became close friends. He started sending me text messages the next day. We also started talking for long periods on the phone. We were like best friends. He's just the right friend I needed to forget about my problems.

Then one Thursday night, I felt something about him -- something I can't explain, something I can't understand, something that happens so fast. From then on, I knew I was in love with him.

I held my feelings all to myself. I don't want to lose our friendship. As a lady, I want him to be the first to do the move. So, I waited. I waited and waited hoping one day he'll see me in a whole new light. I wanted him to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear, but it never came.

(to be continued)