Over Tears and Coffee

Quotes from goodreads.com. I did put extra emphasis on the ones I can relate to personally.


“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” 
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where you're headed” 
― Jodi Picoult

“There is no pretending", Jace said with absolute clarity."I love you,and I will love you until I die,and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then."She caught her breath. He had said it-the words there was no going back from.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“He looked so lost, so soulful, so lonely. I wanted him to kiss me now. I wanted to let him know I was his for all eternity.” 
― Ellen Schreiber, Vampire Kisses

“They say true love only comes around once and you have to hold out and be strong until then. I have been waiting. I have been searching. I am a man under the moon, walking the streets of earth until dawn. There's got to be someone for me. It's not too much to ask. Just someone to be with. Someone to love. Someone to give everything to. Someone.” 
― Henry Rollins

“When forever becomes a place...when forever ceases to be just a word… when it ceases to be just a measurement of time…but instead becomes a place where soul mates can dance to the song in their hearts, that is a reflection of true love.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“I've felt basically lucky ever since, almost every day of my life. That's something else love should make you feel. It should make you fell fortunate.
It will be made clear to you in a stray gesture, the line of a throat. Something in the hands. There may or may not be any music playing. But there will be a certain velocity of the spirit, a sensation of dropping through clear space unimpeded, and you think, This is the one. I found you.” 
― Suzanne Finnamore, The Zygote Chronicles

 “True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, "I'm not afraid to believe in you.” 
― Cara Lockwood, I Do (But I Don't)

“If it's possible to send a message from heaven, I'll get one to you.” ― Lurlene McDaniel, Don't Die, My Love

Nadezhda, Nadezda... Krupskaya, Melencio...

There is no such thing as duty. If you know that a thing is right, you want to do it. If you don't want to do it—it isn't right. If it's right and you don't want to do it—you don't know what right is and you're not a man.

Chapter 6 of Ayn Rand's We The Living

I just remembered my Philosophy of Man class.

My professor once asked me, "What is the difference between man and being?"

I forgot what I answered. At that time though, it was the right one but if you ask me now, I don't know if I'll answer based on knowledge alone or from experience. Bah! What am I talking about?

Let's get back to the topic, so... Ayn Rand is right. If you know it's right, then do it! If you know it's wrong, why would you do it anyway? On the other hand, if it is right and you still don't want to do it, you have a problem buddy!

Ayn Rand

Boris Pasternak

Leo Tolstoy, etc etc. 
I love Russian novelists! <3

Of course, there are other Russian personalities that I also admire such as 

Vladimir Lenin

 and wife Nadezhda Kruskaya. (Yes, my name Lara Nadezda is derived from Nadezhda herself)

Wow, I am deeply inclined with Russian literature and Russian history. No wonder I want to take up European Studies next year. :)

My greatest dream? To win either a Nobel Peace Prize or a Pulitzer Prize. Any will do but I'd be as happy as hell if I get both. Wait, can a non-American win a Pulitzer?

“You're invited to tons of parties, and you'll wear these shoes and that dress, and it can be enticing, but I think it also sucks you dry. If you do it a little, sure, it's fun, but too much and you start to lose your footing.”

Improvisation, What The?

So here we go again. Writing. Wow, I miss the days I miss writing. A bit weird eh?

Lets talk about improvement. Ok, so I'm now back. I've been working for more than a week now and it feels good. This is my own personal workplace... 

Let's see if I can remain sober for a few days. Let's see if I can just sit and relax at home for a couple of days.

Let's see if I can come up with improvements about stuff and shit. Let's see if I can still put up with his BS. 

This was taken before I was admitted at the hospital. Can you see the bruise?

This is the MRI results. See, it's negative. No blood clots or whatever.

In terms of health, I have improved a lot.

In terms of wealth, well I still need to work extra hard to keep the cash flowing.

In terms of personal stuff, it will be okay somehow. I hope. Haha

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."  ~Sylvia Plath

>> I've been waiting for months now, Montague...

Para Maiba Naman...

Sa dami ng sinulat ko sa blog na ito, ngayon pa lang ako magsusulat sa Tagalog... Oo, sa ka-una unahang pagkakataon pipilitin kong magsulat ng purong Tagalog. Naks! Nagkaroon ako ng inspirasyon na magsulat gamit ang aking sariling wika dahil sa pelikulang "Miss You Like Crazy". Ito ay ginanapan ng tambalang Bea Alonzo at John Lloyd Cruz. Napakaganda ng pelikulang ito lalung lalo na ang mga katagang sinabi ng mga gumanap dito. Gustong gusto ko kung paano nila isinalarawan kung bakit ang pag-ibig ay tunay na "walang pinipiling panahon at oras" at "ang lahat ay makikiayon pag dating ng tamang panahon." Grabe, ang hirap pala magsulat ng purong tagalog. Heto ang ilan sa mga di malimutang linya o kataga mula sa pelikula.

1. "Laging mali ang timing namin... Time was never our friend..." - John Lloyd

2.  "Time is meaningless when you're in love".. - Lolo Yuli

3. "Ito ang mundo ko -- old, musty, falling apart." - John Lloyd

Marami pa sana akong ilalagay pero hindi ko na maalala yung ibang linya. Ahaha! Hintayin natin ang DVD niya para mas maisulat ko. Ahaha... Gustong gusto ko yung eksena na sinasabi ni bea na after 2 years ay babalik si John Lloyd para guluhin lang ang buhay niya at yung pagsabi niya ng "Eh Putangina Mo!".... ahaha... Wala na akong masabi... Mahirap magsulat sa Tagalog, yun lang.

Directions to Utopia, please!

Oh dear Lord, take away all this drama!!

Please bring me to Utopia

where I'll find peace! 

I've always been a happy person, but ever since I met him (I am not referring to the person I was referring to in my old posts. In short, this "him" is another person, hypothetically speaking.) (please read my disclaimer). Okay, so where were we? Eversince I met him, I've sort of stumbled into an emotional roller coaster ride. I call it BV (Bad Vibes). I call it DRAMA. I am so sick and tired off this crap. I just want every ounce of negativity to go away. Please take me to a 'happy place" where I am free to love anyone I choose to be with and free to be loved by anyone who chooses to. I am not a cynic. Dark energies aren't made for me. It just isn't.

My personal definition of Emotional Rollercoaster

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER:

A term used to describe a downward spiral-like type or of feeling. Just like a roller coaster, it's fun and exciting with the 1st few rides -- but makes you sick to your stomach when you've had enough... 

Past Tense

This is for him (I am referring to the person I was referring to in my first few stories here in my blog).  I don't usually tell all the actual details especially when I'm writing about my own "UNREQUITED LOVE// STAR-CROSSED LOVERS" story but these are so poetic. So, I'd like to share them with you guys...


DISCLAIMER: All the persons I was, am and will be referring to in this blog may or may not exist. It can be a mere figment of my imagination or it can be a real person. Hypothetically speaking, I will never disclose the real name of the persons (if and only if they are indeed real) due to reasons that are too many to think of. 

No matter what you say,

No matter what you do,

No matter what happens,

You're still MINE

and I'm still YOURS...

^^Yup, that was my first text message. It's entertaining, really. You see, it's sort of like a "jinx". No matter what he says, no matter what he does and no matter what happens, he can't change the fact that we belong together... Feeler... Ha ha!! 

I complicate your life. You complicate mine too. So let's complicate life together. It's better to experience all the ups and downs of life with someone rather than being alone. Ahahaha... (Tagalog: Pagpasensiyahan mo na ko) (Translation: Forgive my blurting out) I just love the feeling of being in love with you.You were my best dream. Sadly, I woke up.Can you put me to sleep one more time? So I can continue dreaming of you...

 ^^My favorite!!! 

Yes, I made these quotes myself. As usual, I haven't received any reply. I wasn't expecting any either.
 I enjoy the feeling of constantly getting hurt.. Am I a masochist or something?? Or am I drawn to the wonderful illusion that amidst every rain is a rainbow?? Am I really that stupid?? Or is this what you call UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Between Montagues and Capulets

Juliet: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Deny thy father and refuse thy name;

Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love

And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Romeo: [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

Juliet:'Tis but thy name that is my enemy:

Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.

What's Montague? It is nor hand nor foot,

Nor arm nor face, nor any other part

Belonging to a man. O be some other name!

What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other word would smell as sweet;

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,

Retain that dear perfection which he owes

Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,

and for thy name, which is no part of thee,

Take all myself.

Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 33–49

I'm in love with a Montague

Holding back feelings for someone won't make it any better... 

So, obsessing and letting your love suffice is a good option. 

Love, until there's no more left to love...

-Lara Nadezda P. Melencio

I kept thinking about these words while I was in my "Happy Place"... It's the truth, right? I once kept my feelings for someone hoping I can move on but nearly 3 years had passed, and everytime I hear his voice, see his face and kiss his lips, I still get butterflies on my stomach. He is like a drug -- bad for my system but feels so right.. I am now trying with all my might to just admire and love him from afar. I still can't understand why 2 perfect people can never be together. Sucks to be US.. I know, right?? 

I'm in love with a Montague!!

Love, Juliet Capulet

 Don't get me wrong, I love the chase -- but sometimes, I would rather wish it's over rather than running in circles wondering when will one of us will catch the other...


Star-Crossed Lovers like Romeo and Juliet

Party Madness

I was so exhausted from 2 weeks of straight partying. I don't want another sip of vodka or beer or any form of alcohol and nicotine for like a decade. As in seriously!! Forgive my raging social hormones... I wasn't able to update this site for more than 2 weeks (I know and I'm really sorry). It was just a bad couple of weeks... I'm reinventing my finances (Ha! As if there's something to reinvent) and of course I'm reinventing myself (fashion wise) although "reinventing" is not a very applicable term with what I'm doing...


I am getting back with the old "rock and roll scene"... Not the music though, I still love INDIE POP, it's just because of the crowd. I have come to a conclusion that all Metal Heads (especially guys) think highly of themselves. I am an art person and I thought music geniuses from local underground metal bands would share my passion. So, based on my own experience, Metal Heads hate poetry reading and indie films... and of course (forgive my dissing but I have to blurt out the truth), they suck... BIG TIME!!!!

Speaking of art and geniuses, here's a poster of the latest "IT" event this Friday. Yes, I'm going!
A former classmate sent invites on Facebook...


The invitation info:

UP Pi Omicron Fraternity’s 

INDIEMAND

Indiemand is an annual, open-field, walk-in, and independent film showing that showcases an array of artistic productions ranging from narrative, documentary, experimental and animated short films to full-length films produced by diverse yet creative and independent film makers from different institutions. It aims to provide film artists an opportunity to showcase their talents and to share their “slices of life” through the medium of film to a critical public audience. 

Indiemand 6 showcases an array of artistic productions that ranges from narrative, documentary, experimental and animated short films to full-length films produced by diverse yet creative aspiring and professional film makers from different disciplines, institutions and social classes. The event, in its 6th year, will be staged at the U.P. Lagoon area across the Faculty Center in the University of the Philippines, Diliman, Quezon City on December 18, 2009, in time with the annual colorful festivity in the university, the historical Lantern Parade of U.P. Diliman Students, faculty members from different colleges and schools, artists from different disciplines and film enthusiasts alike composed the audience of the past five Indiemands since it begun in 2004.

See you guys! Will post pictures and details of the parties next time! :)) 

The Best Bob Marley Quote Ever

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

- Bob Marley -

I have no idea if this quote from Bob Marley is authentic or not. There isn't any confirmation about it in the Internet but whoever made this quote is a genius! 

It Was Only a Kiss... It was Only a Kiss...

"A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." 

by Thomas Paine


Songs: (Click on the Playlist)

• The Killers - Mr. Brightside
• Mishon - Just a Kiss
• Pearl Jam - Last Kiss

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

 Love and Death 

 

Love knows no reason...It chooses every person it wants... You don't have to think about it. Just follow your heart.. Love is the answer... Love is the reason... Love is everything...

Quotes to Ponder On

They're not really quotes so bear with me... :)

Actually, they're like cheesy one-liners..



If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?


If he really wants me in his life, he'll do everything to put me there.


There is no remedy for love other than to love more.



Oh I love the irony... Really!



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